Our Time To Act

This week I am recommending The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't by Bob Sutton.  It is a fun, easy read, but it packs a punch with an important and timely message connected to a lot of really good research.  I recommend you read anything that comes from Bob Sutton.  While you are waiting to get your hands on this book, you can start by hitting his blog.  He has a great post up today about Sexism and Female Playwrights.  Bob Sutton is one of those guys that rarely uses the terms "diversity" or "inclusion" but his insights are among the most important, relevant and research based stuff available for that work.

Enjoy.

Have a great holiday weekend.

-be good to each other

Contrary to today's stereotypes, racists do not always chew tobacco and drive pickup trucks with gun racks.  They wear silk shirts, treat women as possessions, and talk about human rights at cocktail parties far from communities of people of color.  The men in pickup trucks are just as likely to be warm and caring as the high-minded liberals are to be racist.

-Wilma Mankiller

p.s. They also like to give each other humanitarian awards and fund non-profit ventures employing other highly educated, well intentioned, high-minded folks.  And the beat goes on.

Last week, this was my office.

A great deal of my work revolves around issues of diversity and inclusion, and much of that work is about better understanding the raw value of difference and about being more intentional with our behaviors, processes and systems so that we do not waste, overlook or limit the potential and the unique contributions of those already in our organizations and communities. There is still a tremendous amount of work to be done in this area, and I think there are few things we are more wasteful of than the potential that exists in the hearts, souls, aspirations, ideas and relationships of those around us. With all the work that needs to be done regarding understanding and utilizing the real potential of those around us, there is also a flip-side to this work.

In addition to the work regarding the nature of our interactions with others, we each must also be committed to making our own unique contribution. If we believe in the value of difference than we have to add our own difference to the mix.

If there is anything we are more wasteful of than the potential of those around us, it might well be our own potential. Despite our romantic notions of “rugged individualism” and “following your heart” making your own unique contribution is painfully hard and lonely. That is why so few of us actually do it. Truth be told, for organizations, societies, and communities (regardless of what they say), conformity is much simpler…so they reward conformity and punish those that do not quite fit in. To much conformity leads to dysfunction over time, but in the short run it is much, much easier. Popularity and fame and success are generally awarded to those that fit in the best, rather than those that refuse to accept flawed systems.

Even happy, shiny organizations on all the right lists of “best places to work” can grind your individuality out of you. There are some deep and powerful belief systems and assumptions tied to conversations about “cultural fit” and “being a team player.” It is in the very nature of organizations to do this, because it is easier, and it is also a form of cultural self-defense…because if you actually make your unique contribution, the organization will not survive in its current form, but be changed…and status quo, not change is the default orientation for an organization.

There is a very paradoxical dynamic in play here, because your one of a kind, unique contribution is the most valuable thing that you have to offer the organization and it is also the thing that the organization is oriented against. If you are saying something true and valuable to another person, chances are that it will not make sense to them right away...our understanding of things is based on what we already know. New and different can often appear to be strange, bizarre, nonsensical or offensive regardless of actual value.

Call it truth, call it authenticity, call it "keeping it real", are you owning your gifts?  Are you doing what you are on this planet to do?

We are each one of a kind, never before, never again happenings. And that uniqueness is our magic. There is nothing magical about greeing with everyone else…in fact that can quickly become pathology.  Even a dead fish can go with the flow.

We should continue to be intentional about creating cultures that are supportive of others being true to their gifts, but we also need to be true to our own gifts. And that can be a lonely road. But big things, important things, things like truth and love and peace and collaboration cannot be captured or lived or realized by sporting the right bumper sticker or shopping at the right store.

These things require that we stand up in the gap between who we claim to be and who we are today…we have to stand there and be awake and alive and aware of that gap and act accordingly.

Tell the truth.  Tell your truth.  It is what the world needs.

RADIANCE

If ten lamps are in one place,

each differs in form from another,

yet you can't distinguish whose radiance is whose

when you focus on the light.

In the field of the spirit there is no division;

no individuals exist.

Sweet is the oneness of the friend with his friends.

Catch hold of spirit,

help this headstrong self disintegrate,

that beneath it you may discover unity,

like a buried treasure.

-Rumi

-be good to each other

Mary Schaefer and I found each other on…(wait for it)…Twitter. Where else do people find each other these days!!?? Mary and I orbit around some of the same ideas and hopes for the world of work. On her Twitter profile she describes herself as an “HR/OD Consultant, Fierce Idealist, Farmer's Daughter,” who Tweets about “People at Work, Odd Bits on Pop Culture and Current Events” and Blogs about “Re-Imagining Work Relationships.” And that is like poetry to me. On her blog she talks about what “ReImagining Work Relationships” means and shares her manifesto on what she thinks OD, HR and leadership work could (and should) be about.

Since we talk the same language, we caught each other’s attention and I think that each of us hoped that the other was serious about this language. So we decided to talk on the phone and on our phone call we had no shortage of things to talk about. One of the things coming out of that phone call was the agreement that we should continue the interaction and we have decided to do that with some collaborative blog posts in a Q and A format.

This week, Mary sends some questions my way and I try to respond:

Mary: What is your vision for the ideal way diversity and inclusion work can impact the business world?

Joe: I believe that the world in general can be a much better place and I think that a big part of that will be changing our approach to and understanding of these issues of diversity and inclusion. I think that business is still the most powerful organizing force on the planet, so I have chosen to focus my efforts there. So, I think that not only can diversity and inclusion make organizations better at what they do, I think it can make them much more valuable and significant on a global scale…I think that business can actually save the world.

The really big foundational thing that has to happen though involves our default orientation on these issues. We have to develop a value orientation regarding diversity and inclusion rather than a reactive, compliance orientation. A big part of my work is helping organizations and communities come to see diversity and inclusion as great sources of value, rather than being seen as a challenge, an issue of compliance or only of interest for a small group of people.

There is really good research showing that diversity is a powerful ingredient for innovation and for better group problem solving and decision making. I would say that a couple of things we are desperately in need of is real innovation and better decision making, in business and elsewhere. This requires us to give up on some horribly flawed ideologies about the value of authority and expertise. By coming to appreciate the impact and value of diversity and inclusion, business can become better at actually solving problems, and help the rest of the world do the same.

Mary: How do you "do" D&I work differently than others?

Joe: There are a lot of very passionate and very experienced folks out there doing D&I work and I have learned very important things from many of them. I do try to make a unique contribution to this body of work and I would say that a few core components of my work are:

1. While I certainly focus on the dynamics related to the diversity of our social identities (race, age, ethnicity, orientation, gender, etc.) I also take a serious look at our experiential and cognitive diversity, which are important and increasingly critical to business outcomes. Diversity is a big word, and we need to stop having such small conversations about it. Diversity means difference and there are a lot of kinds of difference that are relevant to our relationships and to business.
2. I do a good job of breaking down the business case. I have seen a few people that are really good at this, but a lot of diversity practitioners tend to speak in generalities regarding the business case. Connecting the dots with great clarity on the business case is critical if we are going to get to that value orientation and if we are going to turn this into a truly collaborative and participatory body of work.
3. I know the science. There is a mountain of research in the fields of social psychology, social cognition and the new brain science on how we respond to and interpret the behaviors of those that we perceive to be different from us. Unfortunately not much of this insight has made it into business literature, but hopefully that is beginning to change. This research is very valuable to this work because it convincingly shows that we are not “color-blind” (or blind to gender or age or height, etc.) and that we all have some bias. And, as you have mentioned yourself, we should not want to be color blind. We want to be able to better benefit from the unique contributions that our employees have to make and that is a function of a great many things, including their race and their gender and their life experiences. “Color” is not the problem. It is the assumptions and labels and stereotypes that we often rely on regarding race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, etc. I happen to be a person that gets great pleasure from reading science journals and research summaries, so I have a lot of this stuff to plug into my work.
4. I work very hard at modeling my own message. I believe in the value of inclusion and I apply to that to my workshops and impact sessions. Sometimes, those of us in this field are only really inclusive to those that agree with our beliefs on diversity and inclusion and we unintentionally deliver a flawed and hypocritical message with our work. Inclusion is a dynamic and powerful way of operating, but it is not easy.

Mary: You mention culture a lot. How do you define it? Why so significant to D&I work? What do you mean by a "cultural conversation?"

Joe: I try to take an integral approach to my work, meaning I always try to consider the intentional, behavioral, social and cultural components of what it is that we are trying to do. I think that we really struggle with the cultural component in the organizational setting and that the greatest opportunity for improvement lies here Most organizations can do what they need to with their social systems (policies, procedures, plans, etc.), but culture is much less tangible. When I say culture I am talking about talking about the way people really behave and interact with one another….what their day-to-day decisions are based on, what assumptions are shared, what are the real priorities. Sometimes the culture of an organization matches up with the policies, procedures and plans, but there is generally some difference…and sometimes there is a great deal of difference. Culture is a really powerful force, yet we can also easily pretend that it does not exist…and a lot of organizations do just that. Healthy, aware organizations are able to have conversations about their culture and can tell you what their culture is like, the good and the bad. An organization that is unaware that it has a culture or that culture matters is in trouble, and will never able to really understand the challenges that it faces with things like leadership development, engagement, innovation, retention, etc.

Having real conversations about organizational culture can be challenging and requires some honesty and some courage, as we all contribute to culture in myriad ways. For this same reason, these conversations can be very empowering, because none of us will ever own the culture, but we can all take some real responsibility for it.

Mary: What role do you see HR (as a profession/org function) needs to play to create and support the ideal culture for the ideal impact of D&I in organizations?

Joe: I don’t know that this is one of my more popular thoughts, but I think that the time has come for HR and D&I to go their separate ways. I think that it is in the best interest of both functions if they exist in separate branches of the organizational chart. HR has enough on its plate right now, and D&I work too often suffers for that. HR has been a wonderful home for much D&I work, but both entities need to become more strategic, collaborative and innovative in nature and they need to work through this change away from each other and come to their own results.

There is obviously going to be a fair amount of collaboration and partnership between the two functions, but D&I work can no longer afford to live and die within the changing priorities of HR. In addition to that, more and more D&I work falls outside the traditional realm of HR work (vendor diversity, product development, community relations, etc.).

But regardless of where the actual D&I function lives, D&I work is generally not terribly effective or sustainable if there is not shared ownership across the organization. Putting a D&I practitioner or team in place and placing all the responsibility on them is usually a recipe for failure. D&I practitioners should act as process and topic experts, with real responsibility and accountability on business leaders, and progress and objectives should be based on mixed metrics, not just demographics.

I think that HR has a great deal of work to do regarding D&I, as I think they have gotten largely a free ride by simply housing the D&I effort. We have this assumption that HR folks just “get it” and I am here to tell you that this is not true. There are certainly some HR folks that are brilliant and passionate and wonderfully insightful on diversity and inclusion issues, but there are many that need a great deal of guidance and support. In most organizations, HR needs to be Target #1 for D&I work. If I was going in to an organization to build a program from scratch, the majority of my focus for the first year would be in working with HR and senior leaders…that is where the biggest challenges are currently…partially because of the fact that both of these groups believe so strongly that they “get it.”

A learning opportunity for non-profit leaders.

On Tuesday, June 30th, the Nonprofit Association of the Midlands is hosting a workshop for nonprofit leaders focusing on understanding and using Web 2.0 tools.

Have you made sense of what all the blogging, twittering, facebooking and youtubing of Web 2.0 means for your organization? This session is a timely and thought provoking look at what web-based social media and social networking applications can mean for your organization and how to make sure that you are capitalizing on their potential to build, develop and support your organization.This is not a technical session, but a workshop to support leaders, change agents, entrepreneurs and educators in applying radical tools to their work.

Tuesday, June 30th (9:00am - 11:00am)

Registration information here.

A keynote speaker, facilitator and blogger, Joe Gerstandt has successfully worked with large and small organizations, non-profits, government organizations, schools, congregations and communities; youth, adults, clergy, non-profit leaders and business executives. He has helped launch non-profit organizations and create breakthrough community collaborations. Joe is a popular speaker on the topics of Diversity, Inclusion, Innovation, and Leadership.

Catching up after a deeeelightful week at the lake with family...I will share some pictures soon. In the meantime, I wanted to share a bit of blog reading that I enjoyed and thought you might find valuable as well. Happy reading!

Blocks That Prevent Us From Being Who We Mean Ourselves To Be

David Pollard is one of my absolute favorite bloggers, and not only is this another valuable and insightful post from him, it is partially about another favorite person of mine, Patti Digh. Read this post (and just read this blog on a regular basis), and reflect on what David has to say, but also consider participating in the audioconferences that Patti is conducitng with her associate, David Robinson.

The important message from Patti and David, I think, is that we should stop trying to "self-improve" to be better or other than all we are, and focus on doing instead of being, and that key to that is to understand what is blocking us from acting.

Changing Your Corporate Culture

A great post at BusinessWeek.com by Peter Bergman about fixing dysfunctional corporate culture. A few points that really resonated with me from this article were a) culture is important, b) culture change is hard, and c) the stories that you tell can be valuable tools for driving culture change.

To start a culture change all we need to do is two simple things:

• Do dramatic story-worthy things that represent the culture we want to create. Then let other people tell stories about it.
• Find other people who do story-worthy things that represent the culture we want to create. Then tell stories about them.

For example, if you want to create a faster moving, less perfectionist culture, instead of berating someone for sending an email without proper capitalization, send out a memo with typos in it.

Or if you want managers and employees to communicate more effectively, stop checking your computer in the middle of a conversation every time the new message sound beeps. Instead, put your computer to sleep when they walk in your office.

Or if you're trying to create a more employee-focused culture, instead of making the bride work on her wedding day, give her the week off.

We live by stories. We tell them, repeat them, listen to them carefully, and act in accordance with them.

We can change our stories and be changed by them.

Authenticity a Buzzword? Try Truth.

Another really great and timely post from Jamie Notter. Authenticity has certainly become a buzzword. We are all likely beginning to be sick of hearing about it. That does not mean that there is not a huge and powerful opportunity connected to the meaning behind the word. Do not let your irritation with a buzzword get in the way of changing the way we do business, and organization and collaboration and communication.

I heard someone say recently that they were already sick of the word authenticity. It's obviously being discussed a LOT in social media spheres. I've talked about it here as well. I think it's a great word, but when any word gets too much play, it can start to lose its meaning.

So here's an alternative: truth. I can hardly think of an organization that could not benefit from more truth. Not that all organizations are baskets of lies--truth is more complex than that. But in most organizations, people hold back, leaders don't reveal, learning takes a back seat, and important conversations remain unspoken for years. The more I think about it, the more surprised I am that we're not doing more about this. I think there are some simple steps we can take to bring more truth into our organizations, and I'm not sure what we're waiting for.

Tame Your Amygdala

Dr. Ellen Weber's blog is always a source of valuable information, as she does a wonderful job of taking brain science and applying it to business, leadership, organizational behavior and our interactions with each other. In this post she talks about the emotional lightening strikes that can be generated by our amygdala and how to reduce the potential negative outcomes.

Your amygdala can be tweaked to transform panic reactions into calm in the face of fear, anxiety, stress, or frustration encounters. How does it happen?

Simply act deliberately in the opposite direction of any volatile, negative, or moody feelings. If feeling fearful or if you are embarrassed, for instance, try disagreeing more with the brain in mind. In this way, the very act of using a skill to disagree well, begins to rewire your brain for healthier responses in similar situations.

Simply put, you can learn to bypass your amygdala’s automatic default operations, in much the same way you choose to tap different buttons on a computer, to enter a different screen.

How to Foolproof Your Mind, Part I

I was introduced to this blog, by Dr. Daivd Ballard, and I really like this post which illuminates for us, some of the ways in which our thinking can lead us wrong. This post examines 10 common traps that our mind falls into and also gives some practical steps for avoiding these traps.

“Is the population of Turkey greater than 35 million? What’s your best estimate?” Researchers asked this question to a group of people, and the estimates were seldom too far off 35 million. The same question was posed to a second group, but this time using 100 million as the starting point. Although both figures were arbitrary, the estimates from the ‘100 million’ group were, without fail, concomitantly higher than those in the ‘35 million’ group. (for the curious, here’s the answer.)

Lesson: Your starting point can heavily bias your thinking: initial impressions, ideas, estimates or data “anchor” subsequent thoughts.

This trap is particularly dangerous as it’s deliberately used in many occasions, such as by experienced salesmen, who will show you a higher-priced item first, “anchoring” that price in your mind, for example.

Enjoy, and have a good weekend.

Is bystanding becoming the new “great American pastime?”

I have written before about how intentions can get us in trouble if we are not careful. Here and here. One of the ways our happy, fuzzy, wonderful intentions can get us in trouble is that they can convince us that we are not a part of the problem…and we can easily find ourselves standing in the corner…with all the other bystanders…doing nothing but appreciating our good intentions.

Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.

-Rollo May

We do a funny when we consider injustice, oppression and discrimination. We leave almost everyone that could drive real change out of the conversation. We focus on the target of injustice (either blaming them or pitying them) and we focus on the perpetrators of injustice (either defending them or demonizing them to prove how unlike us they are(defending ourselves)). Everyone else gets ignored. And that is why injustice continues.

For example...in our society there is a great deal of gender violence, things like date-rape, domestic violence, sexual assault. This gender violence is not 100% male on female, but it is close. Remember that funny thing that we do regarding oppression? Gender violence is a perfect example. We have largely convinced ourselves that gender violence is the problem of women. So…women form advocacy programs, hotlines, lobbying efforts and shelters (not 100% women, but close) to deal with gender violence. And we punish and/or work to reform the perpetrators…sometimes.

But.

Gender violence is not a women’s issue. Gender violence is a pathology that exists almost exclusively in male / masculine culture. Gender violence is a men’s issue, but most men (not all, but most) cannot be bothered to pay any attention to the issue of gender violence because: a) they have the right kinds of intentions (not to perpetrate gender violence), and b) we have taught them that gender violence is a women’s issue.  The majority of men (the ones not commiting gender violence) are left completely out of the conversation.

Unfortunate.

As good and as important as all the work that is done by women on this issue is, gender violence will become unacceptable when men decide that it is unacceptable…the very same men that believe the issue has nothing to do with them. Because it is (almost exclusively) a male issue.

Good intentions + zero action = bystander. Bystanders are not on the right side, they are not a part of the solution and they are not in any way neutral. Bystanders are part of the problem. A big part. It is bystanders that allow oppression to continue. The silence of bystanders creates space for oppression to grow.

Lying is done with words and also with silence.

-Adrenne Rich

The world is full of bystanders. It is safe to be a bystander. It is fun and easy to be a bystander. Its popular to be a bystander…after all that’s where the cool kids are. I believe that we desperately need less bystanders and more transformers. Transformers act.

There is a big, scary difference between being non-violent and anti-violence.

There is a big, scary difference between being non-heterosexist and anti-heterosexism.

There is a big, scary difference between being non-racist and anti-racist.

That difference is action. Action in accordance with our aspirations. This action often includes uncertainty, discomfort and maybe even outright fear...and that is a good thing.  That uncertainty and discomfort means that you are alive and awake and paying attention to something that matters.

I am not talking here about taking a stand when there is something directed towards yourself that is prejudiced, hateful or discriminatory. That is self-defense. Nothing wrong with self-defense.  You should take a stand as you feel appropriate in those situations, but sticking up for yourself is different than sticking up for someone else. Very different. It is one thing to be concerned about your own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being and self determination. It is quite another to be concerned about the well-being and self determination of others…whether you know them or like them or not…simply because of your commitment to humanity and our shared ideals.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.
-Desmond Tutu

One thing to keep in mind is that we can be creative in how we “be transformers”…we do not have to lead a march or start a non-profit organization. There are many different things that we can do. Men that want to be transformers on the issue of gender violence do not have to volunteer at the YWCA or a shelter…they can go and hold their friends and family accountable…for their language, for their behaviors…for the things that they say and think about women...In the locker rooms and the private conversations that the YWCA will never be able to reach. Simple (though not necessarily easy) yet powerful. White folks do not have to join the NAACP to be transformers on issues of race…they can hold their friends and co-workers accountable. They can challenge assumptions and stereotypical comments and beliefs. Again, simply yet powerful.

Where we work is a wonderful place to get started. As a man you can go to work today and ask your supervisor if your organization has gender pay equity. If you supervisor does not know or care, keeping asking…ask their supervisor…ask HR…ask until you find out. Questions are very powerful. As a straight, white male you can go to work and ask your supervisor what your organizations commitment to diversity and inclusion involves…what kind of resources are dedicated…what kind of objectives are in place...is there anything that you can do to contribute? As a straight person you can go to work and ask your supervisor if your organization offers benefits for same-sex partners. Stand. Speak. Ask questions.

It is a bit absurd and a lot cowardly for us to expect the groups that are primarily oppressed in our culture to survive that oppression with some amount of health and wellness AND to end oppression...on their own.

Kick a bystander (yourself) today. We all have to pick our battles, and none of us can do everything…but pick one, and act. Step off the sideline. The world will be changed and so will you.

-be good to each other